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Often
a personal change will precipitate this spiritual quest. A new child,
a change in health, or the loss of a loved one may cause people
to examine their spiritual lives. People typically will come to
your congregation in a period of stress or transition.
Some transitions will be as joyful as the birth of a child or a
step up in career. Some transitions will be as painful as the loss
of a spouse. During this time of stress, they may seek God and relationships
with spiritual people.
People
come to you in a period of stress or transition
Now imagine yourself as a first time visitor. Church buildings
are often intimidating. Even though it is not a Biblical concept,
some people have the feeling that church buildings are somewhat
sacred. They often secretly, even unconsciously, feel that if they
do or say the wrong thing they will somehow desecrate this "Holy
Place."
Of course, we know that is not what the Bible teaches, but that
does not calm the fears of our visitors. Imagine yourself as a visitor
struggling with these feelings of intimidation but wanting to worship
God and have fellowship with God's people. Would you feel comfortable
visiting most congregations?
For those in the body of Christ who are accustomed to attending
worship services, these things never come up. We think our churches
are warm and friendly because we enjoy being there. However, many
people find their first visit to a congregation cold.
On
Their Terms
Sometimes when visitors walk into a church building, it becomes
obvious that if they want to be a part of the Bible classes and
worship, it will be on the church's terms. No congregation would
ever post a sign that reads, "No Visitors Allowed" but unknowingly
they may communicate the sentiment.
Members know the dress code. Of course, in churches of Christ all
people who seek Jesus are welcome. Our preachers never wear any
ecclesiastical vestments. We just do not have a dress code-or do
we?
No
Visitors Allowed!
Once I was in an evangelistic Bible study with a man who had very
strong negative feelings about our fellowship. His father died when
he was a senior in high school. As might be expected, his whole
family was in turmoil. Most of them became bitter. He decided to
seek God. He knew nothing about any church, but he lived near a
Church of Christ.
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He visited that congregation on a Sunday morning wearing what he
always wore everywhere, blue jeans and a tee-shirt. Nervously he
made his way up the steps to the big brick building.
He was met at the door by a man who mistook him for one of the
young men in the youth group. The member's first words to him were,
"Son, don't you think you ought to dress a little better than that
on a Sunday morning? After all, the Bible says we are to give our
best to God."
In tears the boy left. It was fifteen years before he recovered
enough to begin again.
Is that an extreme example? Sure it is, but it happened.
Unfortunately, similar things happen on a much smaller scale every
Sunday in cold churches. Cold churches are intimidating.
You
Are on Your Own
Have you ever been traveling and stopped to worship with a congregation
with which you were not familiar? It can be confusing. Starting
times of classes and worship services are usually posted or listed
in an advertisement somewhere, but simply finding your way around
the building can be difficult.
Find
Your Own Way Around
Most church buildings are built in stages. Many have had one or
more additions so that hallways twist and turn. Even though church
buildings sometimes look like a maze, very few have adequate signs
posted.
Something as necessary as finding a rest room can be difficult
for the first time visitor. Finding which adult class to attend
is very hard. Why do you think most visitors go to the auditorium
class? There may be factors such as anonymity or a less threatening
format, but one reason is that people can find the auditorium. Visitors
with children may as well forget about getting to their own class
on time.
Make
Your Own Acquaintances
A cold church expects you to make your own acquaintances. Some
may say they could not possibly be a cold church because people
regularly stand around and visit before and after worship services.
The lobby or foyer is usually filled with laughter and conversation.
Hugs, greetings and smiles flow freely.
Can that kind of congregation still be a cold church? It can be
the coldest kind.
Fellowship is wonderful if you are included. However, seeing others
enjoying fellowship and being left out is worse than an absence
of fellowship. It hurts to be alone in a crowd. Cold churches often
expect visitors to take the first step. Most church members are
sweet and kind once they meet a visitor, but how many are good at
seeking them out? When you visit other congregations, how big a
difference does it make if you meet several friendly people before
Bible class? If after the worship service, you find someone who
knows your Uncle Ralph who was once a deacon at the Cedar Point
Church of Christ, how do you feel? A bond is created.
Many congregations think they are warm and friendly. They think
everyone is welcome and happy. In reality, they are cold churches
from a visitor's perspective.
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Greeters Ministry
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